Networking. Strategic Planning. Business & Career Success.

Vickie Austin

A Blog About the Power of "Your Circles of Gold ℠"
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Network as if You’re a Talk Show Host

Royalty-free photo by Jan Gonzo, compliments of Unsplash

This past June I became the host of a new talk show, “Talk About Choices,” where I have the privilege of interviewing people who “love what they do and do what they love.” My purpose for the show is to provide powerful models for others to see, giving people permission to love their work.

What if we approached networking as if we were talk show hosts? Granted, networking is best when it’s give and take, a volleying back and forth between one person and another during a (live-and-hopefully-in-person) conversation. But when you’re out to build your network, your “Circles of Gold®,” the best way to build those relationships is to listen, really listen, to what someone else has to say. I recommend that you think of a networking meeting as if it’s a pie chart: 25% of the time is yours, the other 75% of the time is for your “guest.” That means that 75% of the time, you’re the host.

Here are some other things I’ve learned as a talk show host that might help you with your next “Circles of Gold” conversation:

  • Be prepared. Review the person’s biography and how you met them–was it a Chamber connection, an introduction via social media, an alumni buddy? If you have notes on them in your database, review those notes. You may see something that will not only add zing to your conversation but will let your “guest” know that you heard, and remembered, what they said. This can be both surprising and flattering to them, and it isn’t “cheating,” by the way–just good use of technology. Be sure to do a Google search and if they’ve written something, or they were profiled in a professional journal, have that reference available. Study their LinkedIn profile and scroll all the way to the bottom. That’s where people list their hobbies & volunteer activities, the groups or leaders they follow and the associations to which they may belong. This information is pure gold when building relationships, giving you insights into what’s important to them.
  • Have a great list of questions. Following the format of a podcast I love listening to, “The 10-Minute Writer’s Workshop,” I ask all my guests the same questions, including: “What was your first job? How did you get into the field you’re now in? What was a challenge or disappointment you overcame? What do you most love about your job?” These questions get wildly different responses because each person brings his or her unique history and experience to the interview. I’ve learned many things about my guests that I never would have learned had I not a) asked the question and b) kept my mouth shut long enough to hear the answer.
  • We can never be too appreciative. Whenever someone gives you the privilege of sharing with you in a conversation, whether they’re a guest on a talk show or sitting across from you at Starbuck’s, they are parting with something they will never get back: their precious time. I am humbled that the people I’ve invited to be on my show have agreed to take time out of their busy days to share about their career journeys with me and my viewers. I will never forget their kindness and consider that a debt of gratitude that will never be repaid.

Oprah would agree with me that the real job of a talk show host is not to talk, but rather to listen. While listening to my guests, each with fascinating stories about their own career trajectories, I am learning to discipline myself to calm that chatterbox inside my head, the one that wants interrupt and chime in, “Oh, yeah! I’ve had that experience too…”  Being a talk show host is teaching me a whole new level of connecting with others.

Next time you have the pleasure of meeting someone for coffee, lunch or a quick drink after work, put yourself into the role of a talk show host. Do your research. Write down a list of questions. Begin and end by expressing your appreciation for their time, that non-renewable resource, and see if you don’t come away with new perspectives on networking, your “guest” and yourself.

 

[“Talk About Choices” is produced by Wheaton Cable TV (WCTV) and can be viewed on the city’s website as well as via Vimeo. My guests so far have included Kerry O’Brien,  executive director of the Wheaton Chamber of Commerce, Bob Carey, chief market strategist for First Trust Portfolios, Jerry Evans, founder of Jerry Evans School of Music, and the Honorable Bonnie Wheaton, judge in the 18th Judicial Circuit Court of DuPage County. Upcoming shows will feature Betsy Adamowski, executive director of the Wheaton Public Library, Tammy Pressley, director of government and community affairs from Northwestern Medicine and Pam Sharar-Stoppel, president & CEO of Wheaton Bank & Trust. Many thanks to Arin Thrower, Wheaton’s new public information officer, Rich Sagen and the production team at the City of Wheaton, for their support and assistance.]

Photo by Jan Gonzo, courtesy of Unsplash

Staying Relevant

Close up Woman Computer Keys

Technology has me in its clutches. My smartphone, my laptop, the incessant braying of these devices for updates and the cost of doing business by investing in technology have me in a tizz.

At this moment I’m awaiting a transition from laptop to tablet, a thin sheet of amazing processing power that stands to make my work life, and my travel bag, lighter. This leap into the future was precipitated by an increasingly tired and sluggish processor in my current, beloved laptop which I’ve hung onto as long as I possibly could. I’m what they call a “late adopter.”

Hog-tied and ham-strung by the wait time between opening a program and having it actually kick into gear, I faced the brutal truth: it was time for an upgrade. The cost of the hardware and software is nothing compared to the cost of having to adapt to a whole new way of relating to my machine. No digital native, I. The re-wiring of my neural networks takes some doing. So why bother?

Because I–like you, I suspect–want to remain relevant. I don’t need to be on the cutting edge but I can’t afford to lag behind, either. Many of the books I read for my monthly program, Biz Books Review, refer to neuroplasticity, the capability of our brains to change, and I know that staying abreast of technology helps with that process of keeping mentally fit. I also can’t afford to be perceived as a dinosaur or, worse, a Luddite. That would hurt my brand.

Back Woman Computer KeysThis Baby Boomer appreciates all that technology has to offer, from reading the news on my phone to using a new app called “Marco Polo” to record short videos to share with my family across the miles. The miracle of talking to our daughter while she was in Africa this summer in real time via FaceTime still blows my mind. I feel fortunate to live in an age where there are so many ways to connect.

I do, however, object to what I call “technology snobbery,” that race to see who has the most state-of-the-art gadgets and then flaunting them with implicit disdain for the have-nots. I’m grateful for the brilliant people who have the knowledge and gifts to envision, to create, to code. But let’s never forget who is servant and who is master here. Technology is a means to an ends: let’s be civil and generous as we use it to better ourselves and the world.

Photos: Sculpture by Peter Austin, Burning Bush Gallery

 

What I Learned as an Obit Writer

Graveyard

Back in the early 1980s I began my writing career as a journalist, and I use that word loosely. I had just graduated with a degree in English literature so didn’t have the “J-school” chops, but with luck landed a job at the Lawton Constitution & Morning Press as a “swamper.” No one ever defined […]

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Ladies and Gentlemen, Serving Ladies and Gentleman

Chuck Lauer wraps it up

Back when my kids were small, they loved watching the movie “Goonies,” circa 1985. I’ll never forget the sound of Sloth, the monster-looking character, calling out to the gang of young boys, “Hey, you GUY-UYYYYYYS!” I think of this whenever I hear a leader, trainer or professional speaker call an audience “you guys…” First of […]

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Love and Work

Valentine's Day hearts

Today is Valentine’s Day, a holiday that reminds us of love. We mostly interpret that to mean “romantic love” or eros, which leaves the day fraught with peril for those who are between love interests. If you’re without a sweetheart, the day may be a stinging reminder that everywhere you look, someone else is getting a […]

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Help! I’ve Been Hijacked!

Airplane

Have you ever had that feeling that you’ve been hijacked? No, not literally hijacked on an airplane bound for Boston, then suddenly headed to Havana. But maybe you’ve been hijacked by someone else’s agenda. Perhaps you know the feeling of moving forward resolutely toward your own goals and objectives when suddenly, you find yourself writing […]

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Author, author!

church-ladies-book-launch

Last month we launched Circles of Gold: Honoring Your Network for Business and Career Success, a book I’ve been working on for, oh, about 10 years in one form or another. I wrote this version of the manuscript nearly two-and-a-half years ago while a guest at a fabulous brownstone in Brooklyn, NY. I tied myself […]

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What Would Dolly Do?

Mandolins ukes and dulcimer

In a hotel room at the Sheraton-Nashville, I was surrounded by beautiful photos of musical instruments–Gibson guitars, mandolins, close-ups of frets, strings and Fender guitar picks–all reminders that Nashville is the home of country music. I’ve been in love with country music since I was a girl and I saw Dolly Parton on the “Porter Wagoner Show.” […]

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Yearning for Order

A Well-Curated Life

There’s something about the beginning of a new year that has us focus on order–organizing, purging, out with the old and in with the new. My dear friend and Yoga Diva Lesley gifted me last year with the book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo, […]

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Let’s Go Window Shopping

Window Shopping

On a recent trip to New York City I walked by Cartier, Louis Vuitton and other high-end shops with gorgeous window displays. I loved seeing the edgy fashions, the elegant accessories and the artful way in which they were featured. Even if the bling featured in the window was out of my price range, there […]

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